The main character, teenager Yun Jae, never cries, never laughs, never gets angry. When he was six years old, he was diagnosed with alexithymia - “the inability to express feelings.” This caused Yun Jae's mother and grandmother to become concerned about teaching her child the necessary social skill of analyzing feelings and emotions. Then, they believed, the child would not become an object of ridicule from an emotionally fulfilling society, and in general, his life would be simpler.
Perhaps this calculation would have worked if the tragedy had not happened - in front of sixteen-year-old Yun Jae, an unknown man brutally stabbed to death random passers-by, including the hero’s mother and grandmother. Left behind the glass door and unable to help, the only thing Yun Jae can do is watch the merciless carnage.
Bosh qahramon, o'smir Yunje hech qachon yig'lamaydi, hech qachon kulmaydi va hech qachon jahli chiqmaydi. Olti yoshida unga aleksitimiya - "hissiyotlarni ifoda eta olmaslik" tashxisi qo'yilgan. Bu Yunjening onasi va buvisining unga emotsiya va his-tuyg'ularni tahlil qilish bo'yicha zarur ijtimoiy ko'nikmalarni o'rgatishlariga sabab bo'ladi. Shu orqali ular Yunjening jamiyatda hissiy jihatdan qoniqarli inson, masxara obyektiga aylanmaydigan shaxs bo’lib yetishishiga bu orqali uning sodda hayot kechirishiga ishonishadi.
Agar kutilmagan fojia yuz bermaganida, ehtimol, bu maqsaq amalga oshgan bo’lar edi - o'n olti yoshli Yunjening ko'z o'ngida noma'lum erkak duch kelgan insonlarni, shu jumladan qahramonning onasi va buvisini shafqatsizlarcha pichoqlaydi. Ko’zguli eshik ortida qolib, yordam berishni xayoliga ham keltira olmagan hislaridan maxrum Yunjening qila oladigan yagona narsasi shafqatsiz qotillikka guvoh bo’lish bo’ladi xalos.
“All I saw was blood splattered on the door glass. Red spot. Then one more thing. There was more and more red. The only thing I could do was watch from behind the doors as the glass gradually turned completely scarlet.”
No matter how cynical it may sound, the peculiarity of the structure of Yun Jae’s brain allowed him to safely survive the horror of loss in a bouquet with post-traumatic syndrome that most people would expect. The only thing that worries him is the lack of opportunity to continue his emotional learning under the sensitive guidance of his family. Now he has to comprehend all the subtleties of interpersonal relationships on his own.
“Men ko'rgan narsam eshik oynasiga sachragan qon edi. Qizil nuqta. Keyin yana bir narsa. Sachragan qizil rang ko'payib borar edi. Men qila oladigan yagona narsa bu shisha asta-sekin butunlay qizil rangga berkilayotganini eshik ortidan kuzatish edi”.
Uni haqiqatan ham tashvishga solgan yagona narsa – oilasining yordami bilan hissiy bilimlarini endi o’rganishni davom ettira olmasligi bo’ladi. Endi u insonlar o’rtasidagi murakkab munosabatlarning barcha nozik tomonlarini o'zi tushunib anglab yetishi kerak edi.
Of course, the example of Yun Jae is extreme, but in general, emotional disability (not in the medical sense, but in the everyday sense) remains the cause of a deep misunderstanding between even close people, let alone neighbors on the landing.
It seems that many competent psychologists can explain that in reality, people have a poor understanding of their own and others’ feelings and emotions, which leads to meaningless conflicts. It seems to us that someone else’s condition does not require explanation, it is obvious and understandable. To pass through our consciousness the idea that a work colleague may have a different range of emotions seems wild to many of us.
Albatta, Yunje kabi kasallikka chalingan insonlar kam, lekin umuman olganda, hissiy imkoniyati cheklanganlik (tibbiy ma'noda emas, balki kundalik ma'noda) qo'shnilar u yoqda tursin, hatto yaqin odamlar o'rtasida ham chuqur tushunmovchilikning sababi bo'lib qolmoqda.
Ma’lum bo’lishicha, insonlarning o’zlari va o’zgalarning hislarini yaxshi tushuna olmasliklari tufayli kelib chiqadigan tushunmovchiliklarning sababini tushuntirib bera oladigan ko'plab malakali psixologlar bor. Biz -insonlarning fikrimizcha, birovning holatini tushunishimiz shart emas, bu aniq va sodda tushuncha.
Writer Sohn Won Pyung was able to tell the story of growing up a person with special needs without pathos or strain, with the same cold detachment in the narrative that is inherent in her hero. Through the novel, you can see the almost impossible friendship- between the guy with too many feelings and traumas and the boy who has no feelings. In my case, I can say that it was the best friendship I have ever seen. Moreover, it shows the relationship between parent and their child from the prospect of the child which is not the common case. At last, the novel made me realize that there is no perfect person with perfect relationships. We meet someone, we can be together our whole life or it can take only 2 hours to break up, and we can lose someone precious at any second. Because we are human beings such a simple explanation…
Yozuvchi o’z asari orqali hissiyotlari chegaralangan o’smirning hayotini ortiqcha qolip va pafoslarsiz hikoya qiladi. Romanda inson hayotida uchrashi juda mushkul do’stlikni- yoshlikdan ruhan trauma va og’riqlarga to’la bola hamda og’riqni umuman his qilmaydigan bola o’rtasida paydo bo’lgan do’stlik tasvirlangan. Romanni o’qib chiqqan men uchun bu dunyodagi eng mustahkam do’stlik bo’lib qoldi. Bundan tashqari roman ota-ona va ularning farzandlari orasidagi munosabatlarni bolaning ko’zi bilan tahlil qilgan. Bunday holatni adabiyotda kamdan-kam uchratish mumkin. Xulosa qilib shuni aytmoqchimanki, dunyoda mukammal inson hamda uning mukammal munosabatlari kabi tushunchaning o’zi yo’q. Hayotimiz davomida kimnidir uchratamiz, balki butun umr shu inson bilan birga hayot kechirarmiz, balki oradan 2soat o’tar-o’tmas munosabatlarmiz uzilar, bir necha soniyadan so’ng qadrli insonimizdan ayrilishimiz ham mumkin. Shunchaki biz- oddiy bandalarmiz xalos…
Author:Erkinboeva Gulkhayo (굴리)
Translator (Uzbek): Erkinboeva Gulkhayo (굴리)
Queries: nglforum4@gmail.com
Comments